What To Really Expect When You're Expecting.

With my first child I read every baby book I could get my hands on.

From Dr. Spock to What to Expect When You're Expecting.

Yet I can recall in not one of these pages did they mention dinner time.

So here you have this baby and they send you home.

Without one word about mealtimes.

You see in the beginning it's easy.

It's either breast milk or formula.

Then around 6 months you start introducing "real food."

No, this will still not prepare you for when they REALLY start eating FOOD.

So here is the low down on how it REALLY works.

One day your child will want to eat a REAL meal, and NOT applesauce.

And this is what will happen...

You will make a REAL meal and all of a sudden you are a leper.

Faces contort, audible moaning and groaning heard, and that is just from YOU.

They on the other hand start explaining in greater detail than s Supreme Court decision how they can't possibly eat what I made because clearly, it is poisonous.

I declare I don't care, except I do because dinner has been made and now I need to sit with these little cherubs as they shift in their chairs, huff and puff while pushing the food around, or chew with their mouths open if they decide the hunger strike is over, which makes me want to jump out of the window (I have misophonia).

I am currently writing a cookbook called, 2 out of 3.

That is how many of my kids will eat what I make on any given day.

Some times it's only 1.

The other day I made bacon wrapped filet mignons with roasted asparagus and baked potatoes.

You would swear I had served them snake surprise.

The day before that I made wienerschnitzel with spaetzli in honor of Oktoberfest.

When they asked what was for dinner the minute they got off the bus (which will happen, trust me on this) and I told them, it nearly caused a prison riot, until they saw it was a breaded cutlet with German style pasta.

Your kids will feign illness, one time one of my kids put themselves in timeout to avoid dinner, and behave as if what you have prepared is actively trying to murder them.

You will remind them there are children who are starving. They will instantly become heartless and not give two shits.

One day they will declare they are vegetarian with the false idea that I will need to make them pizza and noodles every night.

Nope.

Tonight I am making roasted asparagus with rotisserie chicken and rice pilaf.

And trust me when I say it can quickly become the worst 15 minutes of your day.

But just know you are not alone.

As a parent you also need to know that there is so much truth in the saying, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

Cheers to attempting well balanced meals!

Wish me luck!

Xoxo,

C.