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  • cynthiafoustvenner

What Is An Upgrade?

Updated: Apr 27

When we face adversity, we all, I would like to think, collectively believe that we are being prepared for something better.

That our lows will lead to a new high.

On that note, I would again, like to share some self deprecating humor in order to hopefully put a smile on your face.

Hell it's free, for you at least.

I do what I do for you people, yes you are all welcome.

I am no stranger to a hospital room.

Or as I like to call it, my "country house."

Just sounds classier.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been through many a revolving door at numerous hospitals in too many states to count.

A few weeks ago, I broke some ribs.

Not my first rodeo with broken ribs I might add.

The first time I broke a few ribs ( and yes I don't just do one at a time, because I am NOT basic like that), was due to a dog poop situation that was so dire and stinky that I slipped down my basement steps on clothes I had causally kicked down the stairs, because I would wash then EVENTUALLY, and created a situation that ultimately provided the worlds worst slip and slide EVER.

I guess I am capable of amazing doing things after all!

And all that without an engineering degree!


The pain was/is horrible but I am mostly sucking it up; until I sneeze, and then I awaken the inner trucker in me, and if you are within ear shot may just want to head straight to your local Church and say a confession on my behalf.

6 to 8 weeks sounds so much better if we are talking about vacations...

But anyways, I am starting to feel better, and after a tarot card reading this weekend, one that assured me things were looking up, I was convinced; the yellow brick road was awaiting.

The reader even gave me a crystal.

Win win!

There's no stopping me now!

I think I may have even skipped out of the reading with this newfound confidence that I was no longer destined for the worst luck ever...

UNTIL (as Ray Williams would say), I slammed my middle finger in my bathroom door and broke it.

However; it did end turning my nail a rather pretty shade of both blue AND purple.

I love being extra.

Now I have begun a streaming watch party to wait to see if my nail will fall off amongst other things.

It's trending.

(OK, that is totally untrue).

However, let's just think of it as the MY new New Year's countdown, something to look forward to if you will.

So yeah, my question now is when the tarot card reader told me I was going to receive an upgrade in life, was all that meant to mean that a broken middle finger should be considered an upgrade from multiple broken ribs?

I guess so (I say with the ultimate degree of sarcasm).

But I ask you, when you are told things will improve, what does that mean?

I personally don't necessarily take that to mean instead of breaking multiple bones, you'll move on to only breaking one; while also concurrently have other broken bones I may add...

However, thus is life.

That osteoarthritis is one hell of a drug, I am directly quoting Rick James on that one.

But the funny thing about life that we need to ask ourselves is, are we ever really ready for what some may tell us about getting that "upgraded" version of our life?

All you can do sometimes is sit back and laugh.

I am waiting for those chuckles to lead me right to the bank.

So far I haven't been upgraded that much.

However, with my new splint on, I have come to the conclusion I can give life an upgraded 'fuck you' and it's cast in stainless steel!

I guess I did get that upgrade after all.

Thanks Linda (my tarot card reader).

Perspective needs to be everything.

Always and everyday.



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