Silence and Shouting.

It was in our silence that we shouted for each other.

It was in our secrecy we kept our solace.

Our laughter is where we located our lives, our love, and our levity.

It was in our intimacy for each other that we found intrigue and intelligence.

It was always intense, but it was ours, and ours alone

Our tribulations?

Ours.

Our smiles?

Ours.

Our standards?

Ours.

Inside jokes?

Ours.

Our triumphs?

Ours.

In our silence we found solitude and safety.

In our secrets we discovered our sanity.

In our travels we found our treasures.

Our wanderlust is where we found plain wonder.

In your heart?

I found my own.

In your life?

We created ours.

Thank you for being you.

The tragedy that was bestowed upon us is not as sad as it may seem; for you have never left.

You are, and always will be with me, but just not perhaps before my eyes.

Our minds are always more perceptive than sight, and perhaps that, that, is what makes it more painful.

We can close our eyes, and not see.

Become blind to reality.

But we can't shut off our brain to the memories, to the goodness and to the beauty that was us.

Especially the great amazing wonders that were us.

God were they good.

Those thoughts linger.

Those memories are mesmerizing.

We can try and protect what we think is peace with shrugs and ignorance, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily the closure or path that we need to navigate this thing called life.

Oh the irony.

Our ending is enduring.

Our happy?

That is what is haunting.

You build a world with someone, only to have it ripped away.

Yet you lament what the beach would look like without sand castles?

The pretty?

The harmony.

Knowing damn well...

You need to know ugly in order to know gorgeous.

Therefore you understand that the beach needs a little bit of pretty and ugly, because the tide changes, as do we.

Life changes.

And we must understand that in order to see the gross and the ugly, we need need to see the beauty.

So we must always try and keep making those sand castles, even if the water takes them back.

Humanity desires the beautiful.

The mystic.

The dream.

Miss you.

Love you.

I will never let your legacy ask questions.

For your legacy is all the proof the universe needs to prove perfection.

It was always there.

As were we.

We still are.

So on that note, I will always build our castles, knowing that tide will return, and also knowing that tide will take them away.

That said.

I won't stop, because I believe in the future.

So if you are looking for me...

You will find me on the beach building the next one.

Day after day.

Hope springs eternal.

Xoxo,

C.