One Year.

Tomorrow it will be one year.

But truly more like a year and a half.

Once he got the diagnosis, it went by very fast.

For him, I suppose that was a good thing, for me?

Pure agony.

But I was distracted by doctors visits, hospital visits, brain surgery and overall just taking care of him.

I didn't have time to remember how he made me made my tea every morning.

I didn't recall his biweekly runs to Costco to pick up everyone's favorites and gas.

His tech expertise.

Our weekly lunch dates.

They were long gone, but at the time I was so consumed with what he had going on, it filled that void and I didn't see it.

I forgot about that stuff.

It was replaced with a medication list and 24 hour care.

I wasn't able to think about my waterboy, errand guy, and shelling partner.

I was too busy playing nurse but in the worst kind of way.

A year ago tomorrow a different kind of depression set in.

It wasn't like the loss of my parents.

This one stung differently.

My parents were my guides, not my partner.

Yes, I have my children, but they are not adults; even if close to being such.

I miss my couch potato, my adventure buddy, my Mr Bundles, and my always up for anything guy no matter how taxing it was for you, little did we know.

You said when you met me you went from a basic pack of crayons to coloring with a 64 pack, well my darling, when I met you I found my worth, and that has been beyond priceless.

I love you I love you I love you, and thank you thank you thank you.

I can't believe it will be a year without that laugh, that smile, and your ever so sweet demeanor.

You are missed, I hope you can see that from above my Bluejay.

I wish I had that string to my kite, but I know you are keeping me grounded in your own way.

Xoxo,

Fuscia, Teal, Magenta and every other color I can think of that you never had heard of until me; conversely I miss your three moniters, C++and your "love" coding.

We both taught each other a lot, I hope.

Thinking about you always and forever.

You have no idea.