The Year Of Quiet Solitude.

I have spent this year largely in my own self sequestering.

After he died, I felt broken.

Like he was another project I couldn't fix.

Another failed attempt at something I so eagerly tried, and in the end, found myself drowning, and there was no lifeguard to save me, him, or us.

Oddly, when I look back at all of my many jobs, they were all based on helping, with little to no return on my investment.

Literally, and figuratively.

That aside, I needed this past year to quietly lick my wounds.

Falling apart over and over again.

Hoping I would be put back together, without the glue that was him.

A lot of silent sobbing.

Little did I know his death would be the first of many this past year.

A domino effect.

Then my aunt, ten days later, my grandmother, and a month after that, my children's only grandfather passed.

I started to think the only reason I left the house was to go to funerals.

Lately, I haven't been feeling all that great myself.

But we do what we need to do.

Put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best.

For my Kids and for myself.

They have lost enough.

They can't lose me.

I will make this work and figure it out.

Nothing a few band aids and a bix of kleenex can't fix.

Love you all.

We will get through this.

Xoxo,

C.