Not Italian.

I am on every DNA registry you can find.

I caught the bug and wanted to know what I was.

I am 100 percent not italian.

My daughter is waiting for this to change.

I am, however, 1 percent African.

Go figure, that is epic, in my book at least.

Every time we order pizza, or visit the one million Italian places to go and eat in New York?

Where we live?

Yep, still not Italian.

Did I live in Italy?

Yes.

My bad.

Yes, still not Italian.

Not helpful for that whole we aren't Italian argument.

For the record?

I am 98 percent English Irish Scottish and some German and Scandanavian.

Oh and 1 percent African, remember?

But yet once again, zero percent Italian.

Load up on pasta sweetie and we can do another DNA test.

Perhaps maybe the tomato sauce will help the results?

Or you could find a nice Italian gentleman and then we can change the whole 23 and me thing with YOUR results.

Once you are MARRIED.

Her having seen Goodfellas?

Yeah, doesn't make the case for being Italian seem less exciting; thanks Scorcese.

But until then?

Yeah no.

So gnocchi dreams and alfredo wishes, but you will be waking up without your ravioli pillows.

Sorry, just some shamrocks.

And I mean ROCKS.

US Irish can be hard too.

5 points.

Wink wink.

The Italian directors can't have it all, after all either...

So take the Shepards pie and leave me the cannoli or vice versa, either way; you are not Italian my darling.

My bad, my baby, we like mutton, NOT mozzarella.

Lies.

We love both.

However....

Here's a potato in the meantime.

Just remeber, Kerry gold is a wonderful substitute for olive oil... and shepards pie and lasagna are practically identical.

Ok they so aren't.

My love for you?

Sees no nationality.

Find that on 23 and me.

Xoxo,

Mom.