Inside Out.

I have always lived on the inside out. What you see is what you get, even if it is ugly and vile or shining and beautiful.

I wasn't born to pretend.

I was born to be real, be authentic.

I was born to talk too much and too openly. Be frank, candid.

My darling Mother who used to throw all those birthdays parties for me? She didn't tell me how old I was until I was 4. She attributed this to the fact that I would tell anyone who would listen, everything.

From the cashier at the supermarket to a flight attendant. She wasn't going to take any chances in telling me my age because she didn't want me telling anyone. She wanted me fly on our frequent trips back to Chicago for free. This was possible if I was under 4.If I didn't know how old I was, I couldn't blow our cover was her logical explanation.

I was told by my 6th grade teacher, on my report card no less, that she had no idea how I would do in life, but she was confident I would hold a commanding position at a cocktail party, since I talked to everyone in the room before I took my seat.

Also at one point during the school year she moved my seat to the table with the foreign students to try and curb my chattiness since they barely spoke English. All that did, was help me learn curse words in Korean.

In 8th grade, when the teacher asked who invented the toliet I didn't just whisper, I shouted out the answer, which in turn got me kicked out of the class.

In College, I became so struck with hysterical laughter, I was told to immediately exit the room.

So I went from a little girl with a big mouth who had no problem talking to strangers and telling them her life story, to an adult who is the same.

Guess not much has changed in 41 years.

At least you can say I am consistent.

I have learned during the course of my life, this quality, is not only, not liked by some, it is downright despised.

It is easier to be the nice kind one, the quiet one, than be the open direct one. It is easier to hide and camouflage, than be exposed and raw, clamorous.

I am a talker. I am loud. But I am learning to be unapologetic about this trait.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am unabashedly honest.

Genuine.

Veritable.

Take it or leave it.

Xoxo,

C.