2026

Who finds out that their partner is going to be diagnosed to die on NYE?

Who is at the hospital when the doctor says terminal brain cancer on New Years Fucking Eve?

Jesus.

You couldn't be kicked harder.

Stage 4 glioblastoma?!?

Oh wait it was us.

Or rather you.

I couldn't have yelled fuck louder.

How do we learn how to let go while holding on?

How do you enter a new year when you have been robbed of hope from the previous one?

Life is unpredictable.

But we must need to be reminded that starting over is a choice and not a necessity.

Life fucking sucks.

We need to be proud that we chose to carry on, and not give up.

Nothing is mandatory.

Somedays destroyed me.

Others put me back together.

And yet others made me question everything entirely.

Screaming and crying did help.

Yet, standing still for a bit doesn't always mean we are stuck.

Perhaps it means we need to take a pause in order to make room for what is next.

Even if that is terrifying.

All I know is that a cyclone rips everything up, but it will eventually let the debris land; we just don't know where.

So for 2026 I hope that where the winds and the pressure take me, that I will be more outward, and that my trust will be restored and my heart filled again.

Ultimately I wish that where I land will find me happy and content.

On my feet is where I hope to be planted, along with smiles and laughter, because I am selfish like that, I love to see a garden grow, even if I don't have a green thumb.

New Years Eve of 2024 stole my hope and broke my heart.

My happiness.

I got the rug ripped out from under me, but truly from under him.

I want 2026 to return it to me, in honor of us, but in honor of him.

I know in my heart there is goodness out there, even I saw people at their worst.

Fun times in my future.

Smiles and happiness.

I just want to see it again; or rather believe in it again.

Life is unpredictable and ugly; but I do believe beauty is out there, even if the grotesque may be more present at times.

I have had my fill of sadness this year, and I I'm done.

With heart break, and 2025.

I am ready to welcome 2026 with a cup of cheer.

Here's to hopes, and wishes, and lots of kisses!

I already have my outfit picked out, so you know I am really ready.

(I know you'll get that my darling).

Wink wink.

Xoxo,

C.