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cynthiafoustvenner

Vidal Sassoon? Who is that?

I am a hair dressers worst nightmare. In a pandemic? I might as well be Satan himself.


You see I am impatient. I love me a good dose of instant gratification. So if that hair looks out of place...out come the scissors.


I have also decided that even though I have never attended the Wilford Beauty Academy, my masters degrees would be a suitable replacement.


During this pandemic I have become brazen, dare say, ballsy. And with the help of my local hair supply chain, Amazon, I now felt confident to actually mix my own color.


Powder? Check. Developer? Check. Results? TBD. I dutifully read the instructions and held my breath. Vidal Sassoon? Who needs him?!


30 minutes later and I hop in the shower. Now in case you have never seen me, I have been SOME form of platinum blonde for most of my God given life. I have a mirror in the shower but the lighting in my bathroom is so terrible, it's practically useless. If I had nails I would have been biting them in anticipation.


I get out of the shower and follow my normal routine. Then, as I am getting dressed, one of my three rays of sunshine enters my room and says, "Mommy why do you have grey hair?"


FFFUUUCCCKK. My attempt at becoming the next Tabitha Coffee has me looking like a Golden Girl. I am now instantly transported back to that time in high-school, when I tried to dye my hair cranberry red ala Claire Danes in my So Called Life, and it came out tangerine.


Well thank God it's a pandemic. I waited a whole 5 days and got out my trusted L'oreal so I could turn myself into that brassy off tone yellow blonde you all know and love.


Just noticed a hair out of place, BRB.

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