Decline.

There are few things more difficult in life, than to see someone you love flounder, decline, and become a shell of themselves.

To see someone falling apart before your very eyes, is amazingly terrible to witness.

Whether it be due to illness, addiction or mental health, it will change you.

It slowly rips your heart out.

Painstakingly tears you apart.

Trying to help but knowing damn well this sickness has no time for your efforts.

It has its own timeline that has nothing to do with what you want and need.

So like a paramedic you continue to run back and change bandages, only to have them torn off.

Going back, time and time again to see you have failed.

Throwing everything and anything at the wall to see what sticks.

Hurting so badly to see your loved one in pain but comprehending that there is no quick fix.

Watching someone slip down into the well, holding on to them for dear life, but gravity much stronger.

Seeing them fall away.

Almost as if in slow motion, yet so quickly.

Powerless.

Yet foolishly still holding on to the idea that you can will them to get better.

That something will return them from the abyss.

The darkness.

Being witness to an arduous marathon that affords no winners.

No participation trophies.

But endless tears and anguish.

Wondering if anything could have been done differently.

Feeling utterly invalidated.

Looking at the final devastation in awe.

The remnants of the crash in disbelief.

So remember to be kind, you never know what another may be battling behinds the scenes.

For themselves or someone they love.

Xoxo,

C.