Damaged.

Sometimes people damage you.

Sometimes it's awful.

But yet other times?

It's wonderful.

In the best way possible.

You destroyed me because for once I was shown true love and how I should be treated.

You destroyed my opinion on how a relationship should be.

I ended up broken and deconstructed because I thought I was whole; until I found you.

You made me a priority and feel pretty.

You put this puzzle back together again.

I wasn't a choice, I was a challenge, but one you enoyed, and one you actively chose.

Day after day.

You showed me that my hobbies weren't horrendous.

They can also serve as hysterical.

You found my knowledge valuable and not vacuous.

You saw my troll hair was funny and that my turkey neck and three chins can be found adorable.

These memories...

Heartwarming, up until the end when they became heartbreaking, but that's for another time.

This blonde?

Not as dumb as I always seem to be portrayed.

But nonetheless you showed me what I deserve and how I should be treated.

You destroyed all the notions that had been painted of me before.

You made me feel light, wonderful and wanted.

So yes you damaged me because I wonder if I will ever feel that again.

That said.

Thank you for showing me what I deserve.

You gave me goals of what a real relationship should look like.

You damaged me in all the right ways; so thank you my darling.

You paid attention to what mattered to me, and stood besides me and supported me; without complaints or criticism, but with compassion and care.

I continue to carry you with me now, not as pain, but as permission that you let me love you, and you in turn loved me, imperfect and at times impractical but always me and as a daily reminder of what I deserve.

So thank you for actually destroying what I thought was normal.

Behaviors, attitudes and treatment.

Thank you for destroying my hate for people and reminding me of the "yous" in the world.

The "wonderfuls."

Thank you for destroying the doubts I had in myself and my confidence.

Sometimes destruction and damage doesn't always mean what it seems.

Sometimes destruction can mean rebirth, on so many different levels.

I wish you were still around to continue to destroy so many notions, ideas and ideals that need to continuously be torn down and reconstructed in a beautiful and wonderful way in my world.

That said, and knowing it can't...

I'll try to carry the torch for the both of us until we meet again, and destroy a lot of other notions people may have in the interim.

Getting out my hammer and putting on my on hard hat as we speak.

Here's to hope!

Xoxo,

C.