Today, the Carly Simon song, Coming Around Again, was featured in a show I was watching.
I stopped dead in my tracks, and suddenly could no longer see the tv through my tears.
I just sat down, and listened, and cried.
They were the kind of silent tears that don't evoke sounds. They just quietly rolled down my cheeks like small waterfalls.
I quickly tried to blot them away, but they kept coming.
I bathed in the lyrics. Feeling each word.
"So good on paper So romantic But so bewildering
I know nothing stays the same But if you're willing to play the game It's coming around again So don't mind if I fall apart There's more room in a broken heart"
Those lyrics echoed my current situation to a T.
I am so low, hurting so much, falling apart at the very seams, all the while trying to move forward with hopes of a better tomorrow. Trying to raise 3 small humans to be good people. Trying to hold it together.
All the while, my broken heart trying to lick its wounds.
It is always amazing how feeling music can be, but also how profoundly different songs can mirror your emotions and perceptions at any given time, and evoke a visceral reaction.
On the surface, calm cool collected and competent.
Underneath? Scared, screaming, falling apart, burning alive.
I guess I was meant to hear that song today, to remind me, I am not alone. There are countless others who have been in my shoes and lived to sing their stories.
To be an inspiration.
Thank you Carly.
Xoxo,
C.
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