Ugly.

As much as I try to put on a good "face," I feel ugly.

Horrid. Disgusting. Hideous.

My tear stained face, a mess. A face unwanted. Unloved. Unneeded. Unnecessary.

My watery eyes ready to spill their bounty at any moment.

The crying.

There is something so humbling about sorrow with a stranger. Someone who looks right past you.

A person who sees your sadness and looks through you. Someone who can't be bothered. Who is annoyed at your very presence, at your depression, your misery, your loss.

I am pathetic.

Someone who doesn't want to embrace you, but run away.

Far away.

This person I thought who would help me stand in my darkest storm, so far away I couldn't even see him.

Gone.

I am repulsive. Disgusting. Gross.

I am not worthy. I am sad. I am pitiful.

Mom, I miss you.

Why is this happening?

Dad, I miss you.

Why is this happening?

Please watch over me.

Please.

Xoxo,

C.