Over the course of this past year, I have had more people quit on me than I would like to admit.
In my deepest depths, at my lowest lows, I have had more people tell me I was too much, excessive, exhausting, and exasperating, than I care to entertain.
In my darkest of hours, I have been left longing.
Lingering.
Alone.
Needing.
Empathy.
Sympathy.
Compassion.
And yet, I received little, and than none.
What I did get, was judgement.
Everyone knowing more, and better than I, how to handle to my own life.
Unsolicited advice.
What I wanted was acceptance..
What I needed was love.
What I longed for was sensitivity.
I hope those that cast their stones, realize that they too live in a glass house.
And though mine may be shattered, I am still here.
But I am letting the sun shine in through all those broken windows.
Allowing the rain to better get access to all my flowers.
Seeing the truth for all that it is.
And man is that harsh.
Knowing I am messy, but knowing the right people see it as a wonderful experience, and not a ride they need to escape.
Letting the sun shine in. Letting the rain drops saturate.
I am broken, I have been opened, but I am ready to grow.
I will let this fragmented reality make way for an anchored existence.
One that has been paved by hurt, sorrow, and eventual happiness.
You'll see.
Xoxo.
C.
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