23 and me.

As with everything else, this pandemic has me online shopping like never before. That day a few weeks back, was no different. As I browsed through Amazon's lightening deals, I saw the 23 and me kit at a discount, and after the ancestry.com debacle thought to myself, what the hell.

Ordered the kit, coughed up the necessary loog to give them the adequate amount of DNA, and off it went in the mail.

Part of me wanted to be Swedish again, but anyways, I waited.

I waited for about 3 weeks until I got the email that they were done genotyping, and my results were ready!

I excitedly opened my ancestral history when my eyes glazed over.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

Irish, ok, British, gotcha. AGAIN NOT GERMAN, but now I am ITALIAN?!?

Kids, get in the car! We are off to the motherland, Olive Garden, I scream, as I start to blast Frank Sinatra.

FOUSTINO!