No one informs you about the yelling that comes with parenthood.
And that's not even the kids.
Just the parents.
You find yourself quickly going from a whisper, to a wtf moment, and are not even sure how it progressed that quickly.
Sometimes it is a muttered yelling, mostly to yourself, as you wander around the house wondering what you are doing.
Looking for something you can't remember.
Tripping over something in the process, that one of your little darlings left in a place it doesn't belong..
All the while knowing damn well, someone's sticky fingers got a hold of said item you are prowling for, and moved it, all the while in utter denial, and claiming you are the nutty one.
Other times it is a straight up temper tantrum, performed by yours truly.
Then at other times, the performance is granted to you by the acting troop of your children.
And man did they go to acting school.
No one even paid their tuition!
Can you imagine?!
But there you are, witnessing an Oscar worthy performance.
A biblical story of how one hit another, and now we need to throw them on the street.
Kick that child to the harsh realities of the alley behind your house, in the snow.
Or how they are DEATHLY allergic to the dinner you made, and will DIE if they eat it.
They also don't tell you in those oh so valuable baby books, that you will need to say things 1 million times before your child MAY OR MAY NOT decide to do said task.
It also doesn't tell you, that you will undoubtedly need to lose your shit over and over again before anyone takes notice of you.
Turn into a raging lunatic before anyone in the household takes notice of your presence.
And then have they the you know whats to look at you wide eyed while thinking man, what's up with her?
No one tells you, that no good deed will go unpunished.
That you will also go from yelling to crying to laughing in a matter of seconds, in no particular order.
Parenthood.
Like I always say, the scariest hood you will ever go through.
Xoxo,
C.
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