Can We Ever Be Happy Again?

When we are born we are innocent, and filled with it.

It is through the many human conditions we endure that can steal it

Birth, Death, Sickness, Relationships.

I have lost faith in a lot of different ways, but I also trying not to lose it.

I have realized that happiness can be tears of joy and also tears of sorrow.

God have I found out these past few years through of all the above scenarios, how many of them we will face and what a toll they can take.

I have many times thought and rightfully so that people are assholes.

They can be laughter sprinkled in-between tears.

And downright screams.

Some days you may find yourself straight up saying no, stay put on the couch, while other days screaming at you and saying rise and shine mother fucker.

Sometimes we experience miracles while sometimes we encounter actions that may be straight up malicious.

Sometimes the laughter is easier to hear than other times, but I need to trust that it's there, I just need to quiet my sadness to hear it, and just sometimes that takes a very long time.

We or rather I need to remind ourselves that if we belief it hard enough that there is happiness for us again, that if we do feel love again and hear that laughter it was worth it no matter who it is coming from.

I saw a sentiment recently about all, or most, should I say trees need to lose their leaves to become beautiful.

So for all of us struggling what we may be suffering or even anger, we must TRY to see the beauty, find the laughter, and the smiles, and if I can barely do it, so can you.

We are just shedding.

That doesn't mean somedays I am knee deep in cookie dough ice cream, which reminds me, thank God my kids dont read this because I hid it the garage where they'll never look, speaking of which...anyways, back to brass tax.

Some days won't look ok, but just get back on that horse that "bucked" you, for once I didn't curse, must be a miracle; I found God hahaha!

Ok, wait, hold those horses!

I can't help but find a good pun.

Anywho,

For the first time in a while I went to do something outside of being on my couch, and met a lovely woman who used to be married to a celebrity.

Yeah when I do leave my house that is how I roll, you can find me on page Six; if you believe this I have a bridge...anyways...

For 20 minutes the 2 of us turned that parking lot into a coffee clutch, even as we batted away bees.

Lord I know I need human interaction more than anything right now especially without judgement and one met by just pure friendly behavior.

A woman who didn't look at me and see a storm, but a story wiht a smile.

Did I say we met in the courthouse parking lot?

The irony is not lost on me!

Maybe that is where my support group was meant to meet today.

By the way we were both getting stuff notarized so get those trashy impressions out of your head.

I am always an abiding citizen unless that light turns yellow and I may go a bit above the limit to get to where I need to go.

That being said in all honestly this literally just invented the analogy (by moi) that yellow is a pause from life, and we all need one, some of us may many time and time again.

It's just a sign to slow down but you'll get there, just be patient.

Today I was merely reminded that sometimes adult problems need adult conversation and we all need to take a pause to talk to someone, it might just make your day.

We never mentioned one problem but shared many laughs and useful information.

The Doctor knew what this girl needed.

Trying to get back out there one foot at a time!

As I am wishing to all of you no matter what circumstances we may face, ok yes as I write this from my couch, but I went out FOUR, yes four times today.

Well the only reason it was four was because something on a list that I write, which only makes me think I am responsible, a list that I then lose in my black hole of a demon bag by the way was lost and I was there wandering around like a pysch hospital just dropped me off and all I knew was to get a cart.

Like a dog with no name tag, clueless.

So said list and I now have no idea what it was that brought me to the grocery story in the first place, oh wait, yes that list I couldn't find?

Rememberd it the minute I got to my house.

For reference it was milk, kleenex and napkins from the local grocery store, this was not exactly a Costco run.

I going to blame this snafu not on the blonde hair dye but by parking lot party lady.

So I forgot the milk, the main reason I there, who cares I saw the world.

Anyways it is in my fridge, come check if you don't believe me.

Stay tuned for all the times I have had a whole lane or whatever you call it filled with food roll down to the cashier, you go to pay for your groceries, and realize you left your wallet in another bag so you leave mortified and by mortfied I mean cursing like a sailor but promising to come back.

Sidenote I always do.

I am good like a Lanister.

As an adult I now get that one scene in Troop Beverly Hills where she had her credit card cut, oh wait, at least I didn't even have one on me so they couldnt cut it, suckers!

Stay thirsty my friends, we are making a comeback, in good time.

Slow and steady will win the race, and our peqce, health, reputations etc back and whatever else we all derseve in our own lives and destinies.

In the meantime you can find me in the town hall parking lot getting something notarized.

Xoxo,

C.